This is just to say -

* I was looking through old papers from high school English classes and I stumbled upon this poem from sophomore year, along with a short essay on how I wasn't really into poetry and didn't see how it would ever affect my life. HA!



This is just to say -

I have broken
the strings
that are on
your guitar

and which you
probably needed
for your next
performance

Forgive me
It was so tempting
to try and play
like you

Beautiful Death

The red of her lipstick hid the blue of her mouth
Rouged cheeks disguised the pallid gray of her skin
Elongated eyelashes and dark shadows of painted silver
Drew attention away from the absence of breath

She was a beautiful death
She was waiting for me
I was not ready to go
This was alright with her
She is a patient wraith of a woman

Self-Portrait

Grey-blue portals to lite-brite thoughts lay
Nestled between ever-moving brows and slightly
Native-influenced cheekbones.
Centered is a nose from my mother,
Origin betrayed by the slight rise at the bridge.

A smile made crooked at birth;
Fresh greater-than symbol framed by a
Beard that cannot seem to make up its mind
Between the blonde of my youth and
Dark brown of my father.

A body that to me shows whisperings of
Athleticism finally peeking through
Years of college dietary choices too often liquid
Supports a head covered with a preemptive strike of
Salt and pepper seasoning my scalp a few seasons too early
But at least I have my father to look like.

why i write

I write because
Too many people won't talk anymore
Too many problems too quickly ignored
Too many detriments the same as before
And sure, I'm only one man with pen in hand
But words are how the world began
With words, life was formed;
Calmed was the storm;
And if sticks and stones
May break my bones but
Words will never hurt me,
Then how can the tongue be
A two-edged sword?
And they say a pen is
Mightier than the sword anyway,
So I write.

I write because there are those who cannot
And the proverbial fight must still be fought.
What fight is that, I don't always know but
Someone has to fight it.
And so I'll write it.

Language unites and language divides;
Words build up and destroy in the same sentence.
This power rips from my insides, in hopes that
One can somehow provide penance for another.
I've shattered and I've put back together.
It doesn't matter whether or not the intention
Is pure or wicked; that two-edged sword will
Sever in either direction. And the repetitive arguments
For justice and peace are making no headway
And becoming trite.
So I write.

I write because white sheets with empty blue lines
Make me anxious. Blank pages for verbal sages,
And I ache to add a few lines from my couple decades
Of wisdom to the ages. Language unites and language
Divides but words from the soul bridge any gap.
And gaps are getting too wide, spreading like a
Cadaver's chest, revealing insides left by the wayside.
Rescue is pertinent or catastrophe is imminent.
So ink on paper, thoughts exhibited on parchment
Previously unscathed by the two-edged
Sword is what I crave.
So I write.

nameless

These hands have clasped with death.
Palms display a lifeline not mine, yet I live it.
Brain holds memories inaccessible to me
Heart pumps blood I do not own
Knows a love I have not known
And yet here I am.
Separate parts forming one being
Nameless
Sans identity
Plans for me cut short by a realization
Of fantasy.

My father, my father
Why have you forsaken me?
Frankenstein, my creator
Have you mistake me, your creation seed, for a creature?
Did you know you were playing God when you brought me forth?
Born from a storm yet never birthed...lightning flashes
Life from God's fingers as they stretched
Across the sky like ever-fleeting cracks in the
Windshield of the universe.

And now I stand, forever cursed to wander
This earth a spiritless being, never seeing
An end to this torment. You forwent reason
When you made me, save to satisfy your own
Perverse curiosity. It's heretical hypocrisy
By which you've begotten me; giving life without
That which sustains it.
So here I am, nameless.
Wanting only to please you, appease you;
Show you that my soul could come through.
I just needed a teacher. Someone to reach in
And jump-start the heart beating without purpose
In my cavernous cadaverous chest.

But all you showed me was disappointment and
Terror. How dare you reject me.
If you cannot respect me, you will fear me.
My purpose - pain. The only emotion you have
Taught me to understand all too well in this
Gangrenous prison cell shall become you
Terrestrial hell, encompassing you in
Sleeping and waking. You will feel the
Aching in my heart, doctor. Father.
It is time I find the life I was denied by
Your pride.

My life is not over; it is just beginning.
My life is not over; it is just beginning.
My life is not...
It is just...
My life is not just...
It just is...

And through this,
I shall be
Named.