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Sometimes angels are made by mistake

She giggles as much when she's happy
as she does when she's nervous.
It's hard for me to tell
the difference between the two
Sometimes it's harder for her

Her smile doesn't easily mask her ageless insecurities
mapped out on teenage arms
Some call her broken.
Label her as stained and unforgiven
Unforgivable, even

Odd how Lucifer was once an angel of light, and
though she never thought herself equal to God,
sometimes she still tries to see His face
between calling out His name in vain and taking him in pill form
A pharmaceutical communion, fingering her pills
like rosary beads
Say ten "Hail Mary's"
Take five Mollies
Cry out one loud "Our Father"

Maybe it's all the same to her
It's hard to make a distinction between heaven
and hell when you live both simultaneously,
had to save yourself from a freefall
when your angels are falling with you
Her parents,
upon learning of their 15-year-old
daughter's meth addiction,
decided to make it a family affair
All three of them spent
the next 18 months forgetting
how to be a family
by shooting up together

Three years later,
having missed too much school to
graduate on time,
she's not sure whether finishing is
even worth it.
But she's finally learning
to feel
to breathe deeply
to heal slowly
Her mouth crinkles when she smile
Her eyes, heavy with sleep,
cannot close without the voice
of a stranger chasing nightmares
from her head
Like so many wolves in sheep's clothing
she is faithful to both her
faith in God and her
lack thereof in man.

And his heart,
the one holding the light at the end of the tunnel
So quickly she strides towards it
Anxious for salvation
Expectant on its extinction
Keep walking
He may be the one to
save you

...or he may not be, but remember
Faith is defined as belief in
something not yet seen and
Faith in something is better
than feeling helpless
So keep believing
in whatever it is that
holds you up.

Salvation will come.

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